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Practicing self-care is one of the best ways to become a better caretaker, and dating should be on that list, alongside bubble baths and good friends. They're very loud, very messy, and big on the overshare; they love to announce to people entering my house, “I did a poop on the potty!
" So naturally when I started seeing my boyfriend, I wanted to keep a firm wall of separation between my mom life, and my dating life. Especially because my new partner is a bachelor in the full sense of the word; he owns his own house, and (with the exception of his dog) is entirely without dependents who'll clutter it up.
Initially when I compared my life (and my appearance) to my boyfriend's, I saw myself beside him as some wrinkled old mom, hunched over and using my last breath to order another time-out; I was sure there was no way he could really love me if he was introduced to that bipolar love-my-kids-to-death-but-sometimes-want-to-kill-them persona that goes with parenting.
So in the beginning, I made a choice: I decided I would slice myself down the middle into two versions—the one I am during the week with my kids, and another on the weekend when I went out on a date.
The latter could be young, vibrant, with clean hair and boundless, youthful energy, while the former would be unwashed, unshaved, and falling asleep under piles of laundry by nine PM.
But how do you deal with this situation when you don't have any children of your own?
Depending on how long you've been dating, you should be patient in the beginning about being invited to events like the child's birthday and Father's Day.
Knowing What You’re Getting Into Communicating with the Father from the Start of Your Relationship Dealing with the Mother Easing Yourself into the Child's Life Show 1 more... Questions & Answers Related Articles References This article was co-authored by Lauren Urban, LCSW.