Being honest about your feelings dating
Pete Campbell learns that his mother has fallen off a cruise ship and is most likely dead.Moments later, he steps into the elevator to find his coworker, Bob Benson.“Share a little and see how the person responds,” Nelson says. When I zoom out to get that perspective, I can see that it’s perfectly OK for me to be a little more vulnerable and authentic with my friends—in part because we’re all doing our best to bring that genuine positivity, even when things are shit.If you’re thinking that being more open would make you feel better but simply have no idea how to respond to “How are you?Nelson frames this kind of opening up in the context of what she calls the “frientimacy triangle.” I found the framework (and the book!) to be a really helpful tool, so I contacted her to talk more about it.I actively avoided telling people—particularly my coworkers and casual friends, but even close friends too—that I wasn’t doing well.
” Pete looks at him, astonished, and says, “NOT GREAT, BOB.”I have thought about this moment a not good.What you need at that moment is to have to hide how much you are struggling to keep everything from falling out of your arms or worse, pretend it’s a breeze.You may not be able to set down the china or step off the icy pond right now, but you can at least admit that what you’re doing is Second, being honest gives other people an opportunity to show up for you.When you’re in the midst of a crisis or low period, it can be hard to remember how much people care about you, or to believe that their support will actually make you feel better. But don’t underestimate the power of a supportive friend or community; even just a heartfelt “I’m so sorry to hear that” or “that sounds really tough, and I’m here for you” can make you feel a lot less alone and less afraid.And sure, there might not be anything they can do to change or fix the situation, but your candor still opens the door for other forms of support, e.g., hugs, cute kitten videos, a few freezer meals, or just extra kindness and grace.
But in the age of perfectly curated Instagram stories and relentlessly positive Facebook statuses, a lot of people a conversation with someone who is willing to be vulnerable.