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Turn the tables and choose to share guilty pleasures instead. Some very respectable folks have been to Barry Manilow — and/or Yo Gabba Gabba — concerts. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, over-eager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.

They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive.

We’ve all got our go-to spots that keep luring us back, whether they are funky coffee shops, scenic hiking trails, or relaxing weekend getaway locales. ’ first date question, ask something more specific that will likely get an entertaining story about food and travel, rather than a one-word answer. In which television show’s world would you most want to live? Keep it light and fun and ask about the fictional world your date would most want to explore. This question offers plenty of freedom for him or her to share their dreams and interests with you.

Your date may have a local park he/she frequents or a European city that’s been a regular destination. After the introduction and awkward hug, this opening question should follow. Does the bartender know to bring a gin and tonic to the table before you order? Wouldn’t “Cheers” be a great place for a first date? His or her list could include travel plans, career goals, personal milestones, or adrenaline-junkie adventures. Instead of prying into past heartaches and failures, give him or her an opportunity to share struggles any way he/she so chooses.

If you ask the same questions as the other daters, your conversations will likely be forgettable.After sitting down at the table and introducing yourselves to each other, look at your date and say something along these lines (playfully, with a smile): So, I've decided not to ask you what kind of job you have, or what you like to do fun.Instead, I'm gonna try to get a feel for your personality, based upon your answer to a hypothetical question." So at this point, you've caught her attention and set yourself apart from everyone else.Sometimes they lead to burning love sometimes they go down in flames.Even so, there’s nothing quite like the anticipation for the initial meet-and-greet.

In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.