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Many of my south Asian friends date non-south Asian people. To hear many of my brown girlfriends tell it, dating a south Asian man comes with cultural baggage—like being tied to a patriarchal set of rules that keeps you firmly mired in specific, oppressive gender roles.
When south Asian men date white women, some cite “genuine attraction,” yes, but many say they’re “just not attracted to brown women.”“Brown men aren’t scared of brown women, they are scared of being boring and predictable if they end up with one,” Shriya Samarth, a media junkie and friend, told me over the phone.
They are ground up into the burger that is the storyline, while the pursuit of the white woman bookends the whole project.
We see this in Master of None, The Big Sick, and Meet the Patels.
That being said, these are ostensibly fictionalized relationships (or at least dramatized).
Portraying a relationship onscreen is different from living one out in real life.
Why do they, also, seem to sacrifice women of color and south Asian woman to the storyline in a way they don’t for white women?
What I mean by sacrificing is women of color are often introduced just to disappear.
She chose to stop dating south Asian men after she realized how toxic and abusive they had been in her dating life.These women provided an avenue to achieving the “American life,” or simply breaking free from stereotypes.There’s a difference in pursuing a partner because they offer you privilege than pursuing a partner because they won’t abuse you.We also use this information to show you ads for similar films you may like in the future.Like Oath, our partners may also show you ads that they think match your interests.
To some extent, you can’t help who you’re attracted to (though I would argue politics play out in our dating lives both consciously and subconsciously), but you can decide the kinds of relationships you write.